It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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