The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
tell me about the fingering
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