Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
