There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
