That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
