Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Watching her eat just hurts me
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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