I look better un-naked...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
