those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
