super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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