She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
