I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
