I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
