Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
