I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
