Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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