I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
