I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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