If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize