Non-Jews are for practice
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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