HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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