she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
