it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Come see our sink grown plant.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
