I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
