Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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