ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
