Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
