My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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