3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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