Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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