Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
