She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
