My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
