I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
FUCK WHALES
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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