did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
