don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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