hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize