you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
