She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
