There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
