I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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