please come you make the beer taste better
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize