does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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