and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
