I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
