This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
