it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
