either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
