Whod you bang
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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