im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
