i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
