I think I died a long time ago.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Randomize
