Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
