I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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