and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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