can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
