I hope mine doesn't look like that
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
