So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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