It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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