This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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