When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
