I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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