dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
